Newcastle United v Scunthorpe United

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Football League Championship

Newcastle United :
Harper, Coloccini, Jose Enrique (Kadar 75), Hall, Simpson, Nolan, Guthrie, Routledge, Gutierrez, Lovenkrands (Ranger 82), Carroll (Best 75).
Subs not used:
Krul, Taylor, Pancrate, Butt.

Scunthorpe United :
Murphy, Williams, Jones, Raynes, A.Wright, McCann, Thompson, O'Connor (Togwell 55), J.Wright (Woolford 72), Hayes (McDermott 55), Forte.
Subs not used:
Lillis, Milne, Canavan, Sparrow.

SULSESC REPORT

by Matt Gray at St James Park

Adkins 'nose' best!

So it has proved over the last three games and three consecutive wins that actually, our physio come manager knew exactly what he was doing all along. Or so I'd like to think...

At St James Park however, it wasn't just men against boys or retribution from a previously vanquished foe, this was champions elect against seemingly relegation certainties. To say we should have been down 6-0 at half time wouldn't have been overly generous on the marauding Toon.

Still, Donal Mcdermott's boots were a pretty colour - thankfully so, as from a million feet up they were the only discernible feature to identify a Scunny player, apart from Rob Jones' head of course!

The reports we'd all heard before the trip of needing oxygen masks, binoculars and a good head for heights were all proven accurate and it amazed me to see how many Geordie fans wanted to be up in the gods amongst the clouds. The view was awful, apart from the view over the stadium of the river Tyne and the twinkling lights around. The last time I visited Newcastle was in 1997 and St James' was an attractive stadium with all four stands the same height and all enclosed.

Now, the stadium resembles a ringed doughnut with one half smashed flat to the ground - an ugly, gargantuan behemoth of a mess that sticks out like a turd on a white plate.

I didn't care for it much.

The city of Newcastle I did care for however. Many of the streets had all been redesigned since my last visit giving the city a lovely continental look. The locals were as friendly as I remembered and the pubs just as marvellous.

Shame about the football really, but this trip was never going to be about the match rather the whole two days away as a SULSESC outing. 23 shots to our 8, 11 corners to 1 and 55% of the possession to our 45 tells its own story and crucially of course, so does a 0-3 scoreline.

Newcastle were up for it right from the kickoff and needed only ten minutes for Andy "do you want some Steven Taylor" Carroll to head in for the first. Ten minutes later Lovenkrands added the second with a lovely finish after being sent through. Ten minutes into the second half, the aforementioned thug classily lobbed Murphy for the third and that was that.

Cue Scunny fans ignoring the game completely, concentrating more on taunting the Newcastle faithful with cries of "Shearer sent you down, sent you down, Shearer sent you down!"

Comedy gold until the final whistle when two Scunny morons - who we'd noticed chanting historically, and geographically, inaccurate jibes about Newcastle's steelworks - grabbed me from behind by the throat and tried to bite my nose off. Yes I'd celebrated winning the treble rollover sweep, but did that really justify taking a lump out of my prime breathing apparatus?? To quote Alan Partridge, "scum, subhuman scum".

No-se-rprise with the result then, and as I write Scunny have won three in a row and we really can have no complaints. Although everything can change, I certainly wouldn't have expected us to be out of the bottom three at this time in the season. Two more wins will certainly do it, but I can't help but feel there's a little bit more squeaky bum time left between now and May 2.

NEWCASTLE CHRONICLE

NO matter which way you dress it up, Newcastle United gave the impression that they found it just too easy at times against little Scunthorpe United.

And unlike the 2-1 loss at Glanford Park it wasn't hard to work out which team was taking on Mansfield Town and Lincoln City seven years ago and which team was taking on Juventus and Barcelona.

The loss at Scunthorpe had caused deep hurt within the Toon camp last October, but order was more than restored here as Newcastle put the men in claret and blue firmly in their place.

Iron boss Nigel Adkins was a physio by trade at Glanford Park before being handed the job as top man, and there were more than a few broken hearts in the Scunny camp for him to deal with on what must have been a glum trip back to North Lincolnshire.

Scunny will talk about how they are punching above their weight, and it's true that they have done an exceptional job in reaching the second tier of English football on a shoestring budget playing in front of a few thousand fans every other week.

The black and whites, however, can only beat what is in front of them, and if losing to the Iron in October was a bitter pill to swallow, much solace can be taken from another morale-boosting win for the Mags.

It was really men against boys, lambs to the slaughter if you like - and as one United fan headed for the boozer to toast another step to promotion, his assessment that Scunthorpe were "no better than a pub team" was understandable in the most one-sided game of the season at Gallowgate this term, if a little harsh on Adkins' troops.

Newcastle could easily have clocked up eight or nine in front of an appreciative St James' and how it wasn't half a dozen before the break was only down to the linesman's flag, some sympathetic refereeing, Iron keeper Joe Murphy and the woodwork.

Had ref Phil Crossley been dealing in boxing terms the contest would have been stopped as Scunthorpe somehow staggered in punch drunk but only 2-0 down at the break.

They say there is a gulf in class between the Championship and the Premier League, but this was a demonstration that there is a chasm of quality between the top and bottom of the second tier.

Newcastle dominated from the first minute to the last and never looked in any danger of giving the Iron even a sniff in front of goal.

Revved up by the thought of revenge before the game after Scunny had gone over the top with their celebrations at the end of the corresponding fixture, Newcastle came out flying and the only question they were asking themselves after this one, was how they only managed to win by a mere three?

They thought quicker, they passed it quicker and will only wonder why it wasn't more. Much more.

The visitors were torn apart and left battered and bruised by a side that will almost certainly be rubbing shoulders, or rubbing bruises, with the likes of Chelsea, Manchester United, Liverpool and Arsenal again next term.

Scunthorpe - haunted by relegation to League One - had looked forward to playing at St James' Park ever since the Mags crashed out of the Premier League.

Sorry, make that BEFORE Newcastle had even been relegated on that fateful day last May, with Scunthorpe celebrating promotion via the play-offs just hours earlier.

By the end last night they looked like they couldn't wait to get out of Tyneside to concentrate on their own relegation battle.

Newcastle's players and fans have shown great dignity in the last 12 months and Scunthorpe certainly weren't the only side to dance on their relegation grave.

And a lot has changed since October when the Iron beat Newcastle.

Chris Hughton is officially the gaffer these days and everybody knows where they stand.

This has resulted in the siege mentality turning into a new found togetherness that will hopefully give Newcastle a decent foundation to start life back in the Premier League and make a much better fist of it than last time.

Of course, investment - major investment, according to some - will be needed to add to this team, but that should not overshadow the efforts of the current crop of players who are giving their all to redeliver life in the Premier League to the Geordie public.

With a 12-point cushion and a game in hand on faltering Nottingham Forest, Newcastle just need to keep their heads.

We're assured by Mr Hughton that they'll do exactly that.

But you can't take your eyes off the Forest fire at the City Ground.

The once tricky Trees can now only tot up 91 points from their remaining nine games and that's if they can win every game.

The most Newcastle need to do is win five of their remaining 10 matches - meaning they could be promoted at Easter.

It's pretty much as simple as that, and it will be even simpler if Forest fall away any more.