Hartlepool United v Scunthorpe United

Monday, April 13, 2009

Football League One

Hartlepool United :
Budtz, Liddle, Nelson, Collins, Skarz, Jones (Mackay 86), Sweeney, Clark, Monkhouse, Porter (Nardiello 63), Parker (Robson 75).
Subs not used:
Lee-Barrett, Humphreys.

Scunthorpe United :
Murphy, Wright, Byrne, Mirfin, Mills, Lansbury (Sparrow 60), McCann, Togwell, Woolford (Trotter 82), Hayes, Hooper (May 85).
Subs not used:
Lillis, Pearce.

SULSESC REPORT

by Bob Dook at Victoria Park

Our club secretary confirmed that I was to write the match report for this Hartlepool game, after selflessly volunteering for same. Not that there was much option, with only the Hollands in sight in the away end and they were busy with Holland Junior and no doubt had little time to see the events unfold throughout the 90 minutes. The problem with volunteering is that more often than not, one has to go through and complete the task.

Most of the readers of this website and in particular its match reports, will no doubt be aware of my distaste for the northeast of England. To be specific, the area north of Scotch Corner and the North Yorks Moors. I am using a geographical delimit on this, as I recently had to explain to a foreigner that the place of my birth and the home of my beloved football team is not in northeast England. While further knowledge will no doubt not have been gained by the reader, it just makes me feel a little better by writing this down.

In my general experience, northeast England is a grubby slumland, populated by folkspeople, with whom I have had some pretty miserable interchange. There are exceptions of course, with three chaps standing out in particular, two Sun'erland and one Hartlepools fan. Apart from those though, nothing but pain. The dialect itself is particularly disturbing with its liberal use of nonsense vocabulary and an accent close to the sounds and words of 'Northumbrian' Anglo-Saxon. Language scholars will no doubt be aware of the Anglo-Saxon Kingdoms that emerged during the Dark Ages speaking a mutually intelligible Old English, something which has been carried forward until today in northeast England. Incredible as it may seem, the modern "Geordie" accent is one of the most popular these days, a further example of how much England has lost its way.

For the eagle-eyed and indeed well-read among the readers, note will have been taken of the website league cup report earlier in the season. That particular piece was written by this author in the comfort of the Intercontinental Hotel on Mumbai's Marine Drive. This one is being written in the cleanliness of Singapore's Traders Hotel, enjoying free air-con. Somewhat fittingly, I suppose is that my match reports this term are both Hartlepoo away. Punishment, short and harsh is something I've grown to respect in my adopted homeland.

Bad luck is the only luck I have

I came home and my team was at Hartlepools

We were going to that place of fools

Things wouldn't have been so bad

But we had Huddersfield at home too

Bad luck is the only luck I have.

Any songwriter among the readers will easily be able to adapt the above lyrics to a blues number. I'm involved with an Indonesian rock band as a lyricist and am busy with a new album at the moment. Blues is wonderful though and particularly the classic numbers. For some reason, I always slip into this genre when writing about northeast England.

The day to fabled monkey-hanging land had started well. A comfortable drive up, apart from the obligatory roadworks and queues led to a sunlit Hartlepool. True to form, the harsh and cold North Sea wind would take its grip later on during the game, reminding me not to accept too much comfort. The ground was a dump, no change there, but the pitch had become significantly worse since earlier in the season. Resembling a grassy ploughed field, it played very poorly and negated the game to somewhat of a lottery. Terms such as "ball into space", "channel", "closing down", "second ball", "percentages" could have been used readily throughout the poor spectacle. All said, we did our best to lose it and it could have gone either way, but as chance would determine, it fell to us.

The Iron opened the scoring in the first half, with a deflected McCann freekick. We did not look secure though and our inept defence showed its true colours with Mills the left back going missing, thus drawing Mirfin out, who committed a foul. The ensuing cross was met only by a forward-linking 'Pool player, who nudged it past Murphy into the net.

The second half was nerve-racking, with defensive frailities again coming to the forefront. Quite why Adkins has not addressed these after the first two games, particularly with the loss of Milnes, beggars belief. It is the saddest aspect of this season's play. Pearce is not the answer, over-rated and way off what is needed. Byrne is simply not good enough in quality and pace, Williams a liability . . . I will not go on, it's tiresome, repetitive and soul destroying. Poor poor management. We took the lead again with a nicely worked move. Hooper secured space in the box and made a cross from the right-hand side into the path of Hayes, who easily netted. Hartlepool equalised with an awful goal from our defence's point of view. A cross from the left back position (again) into an unmarked player in the middle (again), who took his chance with a deliberate strike to beat Murphy. The Iron's winning goal came from our deadly duo, with Hooper again providing the ball to Hayes from the right hand side of the penalty area, this time via a rebound off the far post. With some apparent effort, Hayes attempted to fluff it, but that failed and the ball dribbled over the line into the corner of the net. Relief all round.

This was an uninspiring performance, which left this author extremely concerned. While I take refuge in the sanctuary of three points, I am a believer in performance, as well as the result. It's too easy to say the result is all that matters. That's fine when it goes one's way, but with a good performance, there is a better chance of a result. I fear that without the performance, we will not achieve the result. This was a lucky 3 points and I wonder whether we will get another win. I didn't fancy our chances this season and to be honest am delighted that we are playing League 1 football (at least) next season. Quite what we are doing this high up can only be attributed to one person, Hooper. One man team? I think so.